As a “blogger” with maybe 1 person visiting for every 2 posts that I make, I’ve noticed that blogging is an innately lonely hobby. I mean, unless your blog is about going out and partying everyday – then, of course – maybe not so lonely.

That line always takes the wind out of my sails. I’m minding my own business, mindlessly playing my video games, and this bombshell of a line hits me. I stop in my tracks. I reconsider what I’m doing. ‘Is playing video games at 3am what my life amounts to?’ I turn it over in my head; I reexamine the statement. And I have nothing to say to it; no platform to argue for. All I can do is nod and smile, and go along my merry way.

That’s just the way that I do things.

It’s not enough to sit around and stare at antiquated household appliances all day. It’s not enough to be healthy. It’s not enough to be happy. It’s not enough to be smart, and it’s not enough to be well-off. You have to be the healthiest, the happiest, the smartest, the richest – you have to be the best. Everything you own has to be the best. The best house, the best car, the best heating system, the best wife, the best washing machine, the best cutlery – the best life.

How much work do I need to do to pass? What’s the latest date I can hand this in? What’s the worst thing that you’ll accept? How much do I need to get on this test to get an A? Exactly an A? What’s the best I can do in five minutes? Ten? What feels the best? What’s the quickest way to get myself off? What’s the most exciting song? What’s the most popular? What do other people like? What do other people like talking about? What-

Physical is the same as mental pain – it’s all in your head.

If I could invest in myself like stocks – if my value was determined by how much I’ve accomplished – would I really want to buy more shares of myself? If I really thought about it… I think I’m going to have to think for a while. To rely on myself right now… That’s an expensive wager.

Alright, one exception. Nothing that hurts anybody else.