No metaphors. No deeper meaning. It’s literally just that. No more.
I could try to delve into the reasons why, or try to figure out why they don’t want to play with me, but it’s not going to convince any of them to devote their time to me all of a sudden. I’m a selfish guy, but I know my limits. I know not to push the issue. I have a modicum of self-restraint, yeah? I can read between the lines.
They don’t want to play with me. That’s fine. I’ll play by myself.
But it stings a little when I finally snap out of my five-hour stupor and realize that I haven’t actually talked with anyone that I know in real life. It stings, because the illusion – the escape – has ended. It’s almost midnight. I tried to protect myself. I tried to wrap myself with a protective coat – the sympathies and short-winded messages of strangers online. There was a sense of community. I formed bonds through acronyms and barely-comprehensible video game jargon. For those few hours, I was a part of something greater than “a group of losers playing video games in the dead of night.” But now, it’s time to come home.
Nobody wants to come home when they’re forced to. You either go home early, or you try to take a little bit of the adventure home with you. You preserve the memories; the feelings of “going out.” You can imagine; you can pretend that you’re still out in the field, having fun with your friends. But it never works. It’s never quite the same as truly being there. Escapism never works unless your mind is truly ingrained with the idea. You’re never truly free from the troubles of everyday life until your lids are hooded over and your mind is barely conscious.
You’re not truly escaping until you’re on the brink of death. You’re never truly away from home until you’re alone in another country, and you have no reception. The only way anything can separate is by removing a portion of itself, and leaving that piece behind. That is the proper way to forget. That is the proper way to run away from your problems. If you do not sacrifice a part of yourself, you can never truly break free.
Huh. Maybe that’s why my friends don’t want to pl-
No. I’m pretty sure that they just don’t enjoy the game. What’s not to enjoy, though? I mean, it’s a little slow at the start, but it ramps up. They haven’t even given it a chance! I understand how tedious it is to be only using left and right click. I get the boredom. But you can get bored with other games, too. What’s different about this one? What’s so wrong about trying something new? What’s wrong with change?
What, are you afraid of me or something? Do you think I’m not a fun guy to be around? I’m fun! Come on… One try. Just one?